Paid It Forward

What a fantastic day this has been!

Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much to everyone who donated to this drive. You made today an amazing day and I thank you.

I'll be drawing names for the raffle tonight, so stay tuned!

...

David had informed that he didn't think he'd be able to get away from work to help me. I was disappointed, but understood.

A friend helped me sort through stuff during the day yesterday. She also helped me decorate nearly 6 dozen cupcakes to take with us.

Last night I put our custom made stickers on most everything and got it all boxed up. David loaded my car so all I would need to do is load Robbie and the cupcakes and go.

This morning I called my favorite chaplain from the hospital and told her we were coming to visit and bringing some donations. She offered to meet me at the door and bring a car. YAY!

So I loaded the car and away we went. We were close to the hospital when David called. He was able to get away from work after all, and was on his way!

We got to the hospital and Chaplain Laura was waiting. She helped unload the car and watched Robbie while I parked.

Then we trekked up to our old home-away-from-home.

We walked down the hallway that I walked a year ago today. I was transported back. I felt the fear and dread wash over me like it did that day. It was truly the most terrifying day of my life. I started to choke up a bit as we walked. I was afraid I was going to cry. We passed the counter where I checked in that day. I found myself looking in the faces working there wondering if they were the same ones from last year. It's such a blur that I'm not sure I'd even remember.

We finally passed it, and my anxiety eased. I reminded myself that I knew how the story turned out. Let go of the past.

Then we were at the NICU. Laura called for the volunteer coordinator to come down. A few nurses stopped out to say hello.

I took a box of cupcakes to the family waiting area across the hall. I felt a little shy because there were a lot of people there, but finally cleared my throat and told them that my son, Robbie, was a NICU graduate. He'd been born, I told them, a year ago Sunday and to celebrate, I'd brought some cupcakes. Then I set them down.

Right away, a new mom in a wheelchair started asking questions. Gestation when he was born? How big was he? How big is he now? I got Robbie out of the stroller and showed her.

She asked about his lungs. Another mother asked about his eyes. Her son has ROP.

David had arrived by then and he talked to some parents and helped show Robbie off a bit. By then, it was beginning to feel a little circus-like- but in a good way.

In the meantime, Laura had called for the hospital photographer to come take some pictures. (Much to my chagrin.) We posed for a few pictures. There's some talk of getting them into the next NICU newsletter.

Laura and Kathy (the volunteer coordinator) took the cart of boxes and the cupcakes down to the "new" NICU and we followed shortly thereafter. That's when the REAL fun began.

I didn't think we'd be able to go into the NICU because of germs, but they said we could come just inside the door and wait on a bench. So we did.

As we came through the door, they had started pulling stuff out of the boxes and spreading it out. They looked like kids at Christmas. It was so much fun!

More and more people started coming to see everything. I retold our story. They thanked me. I thanked them.

I cried, of course. I told everyone that without them, this year would have been the worst of our lives instead of the best. I thanked them for this year and everything they do.

There was lots of hugging and smiling and cooing over Robbie.

They decided to leave some of the items out on the counter for everyone to see, then took the box of bears around and started distributing them right away.

The clothes and blankets went to their donation closet.

Kathy was very pleased to see all the books. She said they'd just discussed starting a book drive so parents can read to their babies. Now it's started.

We saw lots of familiar faces. It was honestly just spectacular. Doctors, nurses, therapists, even one of my old lactation consultants came by (I got to brag that I'm still pumping.) to say hello.

Finally, it was time for Robbie to be fed. Laura took us down to Pastoral Services and found us a private place. Robbie was fed (and promptly puked on their pretty couch) and we visited a little while longer. Then we headed back home.

Tonight we'll draw for the raffle and tomorrow we'll get ready for Robbie's birthday on Sunday.

Thank you so much to everyone who participated. You made today a great one not just for us, but for the family and staff in the NICU. We are all truly blessed.


And of course- PICTURES!

many, many cupcakes



Yummy!


Scrapbooking/sign making supplies



Books!



blankets



Stuffed animals



burp cloths




accessories



more accessories and decor



Robbie is escorting all the goods.




Even the front seat is full.




Chaplain Laura tends all the precious cargo in front of the hospital.




The loot




Robbie's daytime primary, Dara, is in the center.



I wish I'd have worn some make up.



No one can resist Robbie!




David, Robbie & Laura







--Trish

Indebted

A year ago today a friend on a message board saved our lives.

I had started having "heartburn" and was feeling pretty rough. I hated to complain too much about it because I was just so grateful to be pregnant, that something as minor as heartburn seemed silly to complain about. But it REALLY hurt.

I made a post on the board about the heartburn and a friend, Danielle, encouraged me to take my blood pressure. I told her she was being silly. But she was not deterred. She'd had HELLP herself, you see.

At her urging, I bought a blood pressure cuff that night. Then I didn't believe the reading. But I promised if I still felt badly the next morning I would call. And I did.

When I left the house that morning, I had no idea I would be a different person when I returned to it 8 days later.

But if it hadn't been for the urging (Ahem- nagging.) of Danielle, I wouldn't have called. I probably would have had a stroke at home before I'd known something was wrong.

She very likely saved both my life and Robbie's.

Thank you, Danielle. I'm forever in your debt.


--Trish

Pictures

Did you need something, Mommy?

Hmm. What does THIS button do?



The latest in baby discipline. A playmat shackle.



Watching TV on Daddy's "mattress".



An afternoon nap on Mommy's "mattress."



Sitting up like a big boy!



I love my rattle.



Hangin' out at Grandpa's house.



Singin' and dancin' with my microphone.

--Trish

Pay-It-Forward reminder

The donations for Robbie's Birthday Pay-It-Forward are starting to come in. It's such a joy to get the mail these days!

It brings tears to my eyes to see the generosity people have.

Several people have asked when things are "due." We plan to deliver everything to the NICU on the 29th, so we need anything to arrive by the 28th. That's two weeks from today.

Don't forget there are a few raffle items to be given away. Anyone who donates anything is entered into the raffle.

We have gift cards to Target & Build-A-Bear, plus a crafty friend is donating a handmade necklace to be raffled off as well.

Don't miss out!




--Trish

Family Outing

Someone should have warned me how exhausting it is to leave the house with a small child!

Now that are restrictions are semi lifted, we took the opportunity to get out. I'm not sure the zoo qualified as "no large crowds" but since it's open air and doesn't require touching a lot of common areas, we thought it would be safe, so Robbie had his first trip to the zoo.

He didn't seem to feel too strongly about it either way. He wasn't terribly excited, but also didn't get fussy or restless at all. He doesn't really understand pointing at things yet, so I don't think he knew what he was looking at most of the time.

Less than impressed by the lemurs.

He did seem to enjoy petting the goats, so at least there was that.






He didn't seem terribly impressed by the butterfly house.


I think his favorite part of the visit might have been when Mommy & Daddy had refreshments.


I may not like MY bottle, but mommy's is tasty!

Either way, mommy and daddy had a good time. It was our first family outing. (Hospital visits do NOT count.)

After the zoo, we came back home for a feeding/puking session. (His reflux is still awful.) David and I got changed and headed out to a nice dinner for Mother's Day.

We went to a local Italian place- Mungo's. Robbie did great. He flirted with the patrons waiting next to us and was pretty perky throughout most of the dinner.

He had his first taste of big people bread and boy was it a hit!

He started to get a little restless towards the end of dinner, but was pacified by the joy of playing with my to-go bag.


Bread is good, but paper is better!




All in all it was a great day. It was exhausting, though. Robbie fell asleep in the car on the way home and I could have easily done the same.

But it truly felt great to get out of the house and seem almost normal. It was the greatest Mother's Day gift I could have asked for.

--Trish

P.S. One more bonus picture. Robbie had his first trip to the grocery store with me the other day. I brought toys, but in typical child fashion, the best "toys" are always mom's.

Milestones

It's been a very busy around here lately.

The biggest news of the week is that we're semi-paroled!

Our pediatrician says we can start venturing out. She warned that we still need to be very germ-phobic- no large crowds, lots of hand-washing and antibacterial wipes, keeping his car seat covered as much as possible while out and absolutely to avoid anyone with any kind of cough. But we can go out!

Robbie and I celebrated with a trip to the bookstore. He was a perfect angel. I think he was trying to figure out how to eat all the books in the place. He LOVES paper.

The trip went well. Only one stranger tried to rub his head and I was able to duck and twist to keep her hands off of him. To everyone who reads this blog, please- I beg of you- Don't touch babies that don't belong to you! I know they're cute and sweet and smell good, but even the big ones don't have the defenses that adults do. And you never know when one is more fragile than they appear.

In other good news, Robbie semi-sorta-partially-kind-of rolled over from back to belly last night. I had a toy up at the right side of his head and he rolled over to reach for it with his left hand. He sort of thunked down so he was laying completely on his right arm, grabbed the toy and rolled back. I'm not sure that "counts" but in my book it shows he CAN do it, he just doesn't want to.

In the last week he's also started doing something that I am loving. He reaches for me (or David) to pick him up when he wants up. That might seem like a minor thing, but man it's just so sweet when he's hollering and you go over to ask what the problem is and he reaches for you and looks happy. Totally melts my heart.

He's also getting better at holding two toys at once. He could *sort of* do it before, but it was pretty rare and short lived. He's still not banging them together or anything, but given two toys that he loves (his favorite "toys" being the tube of Aquaphor and a tube of Butt Paste) he'll choose to hold both for a few seconds.

He should be starting PT any time. Depending on the paperwork, he might have his first session this week but definitely by next week.

At our IFSP meeting last week, we were discussing his 6 month goals. Mine were: sitting, crawling, walking. The PTs included all of those AND stair climbing, running and a few other things.

It blows my mind to think he could be climbing stairs in 6 months. I think it's one of those things I'll believe when I'll see. But he really is making a lot of progress the last month or so, so who knows.

In eating news, it's a mixed bag. He's completely given up on the bottle. For a while he'd at least drink a little at night but now he wants nothing to do with a bottle at all. It all goes in the tube.

However, he's made some improvements with solids. He's not eating enough to rely on, but he's actually been opening his mouth and smiling during feedings. That's HUGE. It's so amazing to not having crying, writhing & fighting when he sees food. Hopefully it means good things in the future even if overall they kind of suck right now.

Weight wise, he finally broke 12 pounds over the weekend. His weigh in tonight was 12 lb 3 oz. There was a point I wasn't sure he'd hit this weight by his birthday. At this rate, I think we'll actually hit 13+ pounds by the time he's 1. Still tiny, but headed in the right direction.

The sitting up continues to improve. Today we got a new toy that was recommended by a couple of friends whose children had similar gross motor troubles. He LOVES the thing. He sat up mostly unassisted for probably 7 or 8 minutes at one point. The only support was his hand on the toy itself.





It's definitely been a banner few weeks for him. If only he could take his milk without crying in pain for an hour afterward, it would be heaven.

--Trish

Sitting Up

Robbie is getting better and better at sitting. He still needs to catch himself fairly frequently but is definitely close to sitting unassisted. He can look around (and up) w/o immediately falling over now.

He is cheating a little at the end, but he'd been sitting w/o leaning for a couple of minutes before I turned the camera on, so I think he can get away with it.

Please excuse my obnoxious narration.

--Trish

11 months

So close

He is getting SO close to sitting unassisted.

He just needs something to catch himself on every so often. The boppy works great.




--Trish

More Robbie Pictures

--Trish

If at first you don't succeed

So there is a little boy out in blogland who had surgery today. His name Stellan and in support of him, his momma asked that everyone wear orange today to support him.

Well, Robbie is nothing if not supportive, so he wore his favorite spring outfit which just so happens to contain a lot of orange.

As his mom, it was my job to document the event. Sounds simple enough, right?

Well, this is how it went.

I thought Hmm, this should be simple. I'll just make a sign and take a picture.



Hmm, well, that's not bad, but maybe I could get a better look on his face and the sign could be straight.

I'll just put the sign over here.. Hey Robbie.. Robbie..Look over here, baby...



Hmm.. Maybe if I put the sign on the other side.. oh crap.. Robbie, honey, let go..



Okay, maybe I'LL hold the sign up.. Well, crud. Robbie, baby.. don't cry. This is supposed to be fun.



Well, that's better, but the sign has seen better days.. and well, you can't see Robbie's orange outfit, which was the whole point.. What next?



Okay, let's put the sign off to the side a little.. Yes, baby, I'm glad you like the paper..



Uh oh.



Okay, I give up.

At least Robbie's amused.


I wonder how many calories paper and ink has?

In the end, we sent Stellan the original.
Get well soon, Stellan!

Upping the Ante

Wow, first off- thank you so much to those of you who have already contacted us about donations for Robbie's Birthday Pay-It-Forward. We're truly touched.

On top of the many individuals who have contacted us, a few friends with "connections" have offered donations as well.

A dear friend who runs Save The Date Originals is donating the stickers for the items so everyone knows they're from one preemie to another.

And just tonight another friend who works for Build-A-Bear Workshop is going to arrange a donation of mini bears for the current NICU residents. (And an extra bonus, posted below.) We're SO excited!

There is no way that we could ever re-pay the hospital for Robbie's life, but it means so much that people want to help us try.

To up the ante, we've decided to sweeten the pot a little.

Every person who makes any donation towards the effort (it will need to be received by May 28, 2009) will be entered into a raffle.

Right now, there are at least 2 prizes:
$25 gift card to Target
$20 "Cub Cash" to Build-A-Bear Workshop (another donation!)

More may be added later. It doesn't matter what you donate. Even a 99 cent sheet of stickers could win you a prize.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Reminder: Just email me at triciajoy@yahoo.com or comment on the blog for mailing instructions.

-Trish, David & Robbie

A note about Pay It Forward

an addendum to the post below:

For those who want to do something small (money is tight these days, believe me, I know!) one suggestion is maybe some craft stuff. Even a sheet of cute stickers.

The nurses make signs and decorations for the babies' isolettes and rooms. I still have Robbie's hanging up in his nursery.

Seriously, even a dollar sheet of stickers would be put to good use.


And because I didn't make it very clear, I plan to take the stuff to the NICU on May 29. So donations only need to be in by May 28th.

--Trish

Pay It Forward

NICU babies are tiny and fragile. The parents are terrified.

When Robbie was born, we had exactly one thing bought for him. Every time someone asked if we had a _________, our response was the same. "We were going to do that in the third trimester." Only the third trimester never came. And once Robbie got here, the last thing we wanted to do was go shopping. We spent every waking hour at his side. When I TRIED to go out and do something to get ready, I was overwhelmed with guilt and worry.

And we weren't alone. We were surrounded by other parents who were just as terrified and unprepared as we were.

Sometimes at night, I lay in bed and think about and pray for the current NICU babies. I pray that their parents are comforted, that God holds them in His hands. And I pray for the caregivers that their decisions are guided and well thought out.

In our time, I was amazed that this... hell... was going on all across the world all the time. When I had been blissfully feeling Robbie kick my bladder, some parent somewhere was worrying about their tiny, fragile, sick baby in an isolette.

And it continues.

As I type this, parents are still going through it.

But there was so much hope. So much help when we were there. The nurses weren't just Robbie's caregivers, they were mine.

The day before I went back to work for a short period, I was at Robbie's bedside crying. Nurses that had never been assigned to Robbie came to pat my back, give me a hug and encourage me.
They made Robbie comfortable. They rubbed his head and stilled his hands. But they made sure I had water and they held my hand.

We watched nurses cry over other babies, hold other parents' hands, stop their paperwork to just hold a baby whose parents couldn't be at the hospital all the time.

My favorite doctor would come in and ask how I was and when I would say okay. He'd shake his head, sit down and respond "No. How are you REALLY?" And then he'd comfort me. I could tell him I needed a pep talk and he'd give me one.

And the parents around me, well, what can I say? They kept us sane. While our friends and family members did everything they could to comfort and support us, no one who wasn't living the day in and day out of apnea and alarms and test and pokes and tubes and oxygen could truly get it.

Even when Robbie was having a bad day, his NICU friends might have a good one, and it gave us something to cheer about. And when Robbie was having a good day and they a bad one, we were blessed to have them cheering for us.

As much as we were so ready to have our little guy with us, there are elements of the NICU that were truly special and are missed. The sense of teamwork, the support, the safety, the never-having-to-tell-someone-to-wash-their-hands.. it was special.

And that is why, with Robbie's birthday approaching (6 weeks, how did that HAPPEN?), we are hoping to thank the place that literally saved his life time after time, we are asking for everyone's help in donating some items to the NICU in Robbie's name.

We toyed with several ideas, but in the end decided we'd like to give anything.

Robbie received many donated items during his stay. From hand knitted hats to crocheted blankets, donated books, and tiny clothes, we benefited from generous act after generous act.

We'd like to pay it forward. We will be donating all of Robbie's outgrown preemie clothes and receiving blankets. And we'd love to have more.

A few people have expressed that they'd love to donate some blankets and a dear friend is going to make hair bows for the girls. We've had some ideas of books to read to the babies. We'll take it all.

If you'd like to give in Robbie's name, please Contact Us and we'll give an address for donations. It could be anything a baby could use. And if you aren't sure what to give, prayers are always welcome. Pray for the babies, the parents and their caregivers. Those were truly our most treasured gifts during our time.

Thank you for helping us pay it forward.


--Trish & David

And as a little pre-thank you: a little Random Robbie to brighten your day.